Landon's Epic China Trip.: My Epic China Trip in MindBlowing 3D, minus the 3D part.

On August 11, I left Boston, my studio, and everything I knew to go to China for one month to travel with my girlfriends Chinese family. I did not get a tourist version of china, I got the legit experience, and after what seems like a short forever, I returned from China 3 days ago, and I am still not use to the 12 hour time difference. Or using anything other than chopsticks for that matter. Anyway, here is my recap of my trip.

eating a bug.

All of what I am about to recount is true, except for parts that aren't true, then those are false parts.

Notice the I.

My trip began as most do, in an airport. The airlines we flew to China in was not surprisingly Air China.

The flight was 15 hours, no movies where shown, and the seats where made for short Asian people, so my head teetered overhead uncomfortably. After what seemed like 15 hours, we landed in Beijing, which had an abyss like gray overcast.

The Beijing airport is huge, so after leaving the plane I think we must have walked half an hour to reach customs, and to recheck our bags for our next flight to Ningxia. It was a short 2 hour flight to Ningxia, compared to the LA to Beijing flight.

Welcome to Beijing! Now tremble before our great airport!

Fresh prince of Beijing.

Ningxia is a desert region in the middle of China, and the hometown of my girlfriend's family. We were set to stay there a little over a week. We were picked up by their extended family, whom we were set to stay with, and as we drove from the airport into town, I realized that the sidewalks and parts of the road were made of dirt. As cars drove through it, it picked up massive clouds of dust which obscured traffic. This could have been dangerous had it not been for the chorus of car horns that sounded every half second.

In china, car horns are very important. Unlike in America, where horns are usually considered confrontational, as if we are saying, "MOVE! GET OUT OF THE WAY!", in China everyone beeps constantly as if to say, "Hey, I'm here. Just letting you know." Basically, if you're driving in China, and aren't honking your horn every minute, you're doing it wrong.

After a 45 minute drive to where we where staying, we took a short walk around. Because of the dust clouds the cars produced, most people walking and riding bikes where wearing face mask. Since I didn't have one, I just coughed a lot. As we walked down the street, we saw numerous produce stands.

The lingering dust did not make the freshness of the produce that appetizing. But with all the near by farmers, you knew it was all freshly harvested. Anyway, we kept walking and reached a high school. In the football field, the whole school was out there dressed in army fatigues practicing deadly combat skills. No Joke. I was only slightly terrified.

Right now Chinese children are training to kill, how are you improving yourself?

After that, we returned to the house we where staying and got ready for dinner. Meals in China are all family style, and on that spinning table type thing. The restaurant we went to had a plant in the middle their table, and served shrimps that could stare at you.

I see you are about to rip my skeleton out and eat me

The next day I came down with a fever. Apparently my weak American immune system was no match for China. However I was stubborn and determined to walk around China, so didn't tell anyone I had a fever. Unfortunately it was obvious, and the Chinese family we were staying with decided the best course of action was to take me to the Emergency room and get me hooked up to an IV. WTF! So I begged not to go, but since they didn't speak english, it didn't matter. As I walked up to the hospital in a high temperature delirium, I saw it was in shambles.

Inside was exposed concrete with barely any lights on. I was in a cold sweat, stumbling, and weak, a swell as freaking out that I was gonna get an IV here. I was convinced I was going to die from this place. Suddenly, I had to throw up. I was ushered to a dirt lined hall way to the bathroom. As I stumbled in, there was a guy squatting over a hole shitting, with no stall to give any privacy. He glanced up at me, then went back to shitting. I was to grossed out to puke and ran away.

Finally, I was brought to the doctors office. She thankful spoke some broken english, and told me I had to get a blood test from across the hall. Just then, I heard hysterical screaming in Chinese. It was the kind of screaming you don't wanna hear in the hospital, because you know shit ain't right. I was told it was a man mentally ill flipping out about needles. Nervously, I went across the hall, and a hole in the door opened up. The lady inside demanded my hand. She gave me one look, then instead of lightly pricking my finger for blood, savagely jabbed my finger with a thumbtack to take my blood. It hurt... a lot.

Nursing my sore finger, I dreaded how they would attach the IV. When I got back in the doctors office, I pleaded for pills instead; which she regretfully obliged too. I went home with 3 different pills, took them and passed out. The next day, I was fine.

Now its time for random pictures of that week!